The perfect male body, what exactly is it? Wide around the chest, narrow around the legs, or perhaps the other way round (oh God forbid). Well, after much discussion with my good friend, google, I believe i have arrived at an answer. But before that, let me relate to you my version of the journey of mankind to discover the perfect male body.
History Of Arnold Schwarzenegger
Aarnornold Schwarzenegger began his quest to get the perfect male body, and for awhile the world was at his feet. He had everything, huge chest, huge arms, 6 pack abs, and muscular legs. He even starred in Terminator 1,2,3 , of course he had to be replaced in the 4th movie, you’ll see why later.
However, after consuming too much steroids, tragically (not so for his competitors), disaster struck! Arnold Schwarzenegger started developing female hormones which could not be reversed! He turned from Arnold Schwarzenegger to Ammie Sharapova!
As a result, he developed what is now seen in the picture as man-boobs, or in short, moobs. As horrifying as it may seem, it is not photoshopped. Thus i draw a conclusion in a very twisted way after realizing i strayed too far to connect back the dots : Arnold Schwarzenegger’s body was not the perfect male body.
Anyway, fast forward back to 2010, arnold is still fat and we’re still discussing what is the perfect male body. The perfect male body, as we’ve learn from our history lesson on Arnold Schwarzenegger, is not one that is overly buffed up. So, perhaps one that’s skinny, you may think?
History Of Skinny Man
Skinny man wanted to be sexy, so he decided that since fat was really ugly, skinny had to be really sexy. So he got so skinny,until one day, a gust of wind blew him away and rumor has it that the wind itself was so strong that his entire body broke and dispersed all around the world, infecting certain selected individuals with the disease now most commonly known as “anorexia”. So once again, in a much twisted way, i conclude that skinny man did not achieve the perfect male body.
Alright, now that buffy and skinny are out of the equation, what does that leave us with? Using the basic math skills, the mean average should give us the answer, yes? Somewhere between the two extremes of being too buff and being too skinny, what does that leave us with? Well, the answer is :
Edward Cullen! Jacob Black!
Okay, i hope i wasn’t too harsh on Edward (no offense to the millions of girls and guys out there who want to marry him), but let’s face it, the perfect male body would and should go to Jacob Black. He’s not too buff like Ammie Sharapova, nor is he too skinny like skinny man, nor does he have spray on abs like Edward, thus, he should be awarded the title as The Perfect Male Body.
Anyway, to clear things up, I’m not a crazy fan of twilight, just figured because of it’s recentness, it would fit this discussion perfectly, and neither am i biased to Jacob Black, i have 4 cats at home and they hate dogs.
I read through every comment and even a short anonymous comment would go a long way to helping me improve this blog post. (:
So there you go, now you all know what the perfect male body is like. Have a question for us? Email us at Loveawake Utah support service. Be sure to include your first name and last initial.